That's pretty much how I feel right now. Yet oddly, at peace. And I know that comes from God, or I'd be pulling out my hair in a panic by now. Our lease is up at the end of April and our landlord is not letting us stay on until Eric receives his call. He wants to rent it to someone who will sign and stay on for a least a year. He has lost a lot of money with his properties vacant so I understand why he is doing it but I still do wish he would give us through the summer to move. We would hope by then Eric would receive his first call. He will be officially certified in May. We are searching for a month-to-month rental that is still near the train but that is proving difficult to find. The next option would be a 6 month lease somewhere but they typically charge $100 over what they would normally rent it for. Plus we will be paying for a storage unit. There is a church-related option that we hope to find out more about next week but I'm not holding my breath on it. We still have an entire month or so on our current lease. So fretting about it right now won't do any good. We cannot rush the call process. We are praying about it every day and praying for a solution to our living situation. God can and will provide for us. He promises us that! And he tells us not to worry about tomorrow! So why am I worrying about 2 months from now!? And that is why I have peace. Because I can't control anything and I know the One he can and does.
With March 1st right around the corner I want us both (Ellie excluded) to start eating better. With the internship now behind us, Eric has more time to exercise. I already do run 3x a week plus daily stretches, planks, squats, and ab work. But it take more than exercise to reach our goals. Our diets need to change too. If anyone tries to tell you that a gluten free diet is a weight loss fad they are dead wrong. There is so much bad stuff for you out there there is also gluten free! Now I can't chow down on McD's or other fast food crap but I can and do eat potato chips, chocolate, pop, brownies (made GF), cookies (made GF), and loads of other bad stuff. For me its the baby belly I would like to see go away. The bane of almost every woman's existence. Eric also would like to loose some weight around his middle.
So I've started researching and it makes my head spin. You won't get the results you want unless there is something you are willing to give up. Or if not give up, greatly restrict. Some of the diets out there are just a plain bad idea. Others are just impossible on our budget. I hate tracking numbers for carbs, protein, and calories. Maybe that's just my laziness. I'm also not going to get rid of or replace half the condiments and misc things in my pantry because they contain an ingredient on the "no" list. We already spend a load of money on grocery every month, I can't afford to spend even more to help us meet our goals. It has to be something realistic and doable for us. So I will continue to research and hope we can settle on something. *sigh*
Friday, February 26, 2016
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Running post
So this post is just about running. Why? Because I like to talk about running with other people who like to run. I like to talk about distance and pace, treadmill vs road, running races, gear, and goals. I didn't realize when I started all of this I would become so passionate about it. If I have to go several days without a run I feel lazy and sluggish.
I strained a muscle in my left foot on my last outside run and have been struggling with it the last 2 treadmill runs but I'm stubborn and won't rest unless I've really done some kind of damage to myself. As it is, I've not made it worse by continuing to run but the muscles around my shin have been more sore because I'm sure I'm not landing on my foot normally because of it.
I've also had to increase the incline on my treadmill runs because the outside runs have really been kicking my butt. Between the hills and the wind, its easy to get lazy on the controlled environment of the treadmill. So I've gone from 1 incline to varying it between 3.5 and 4. 4 is a little tough so I'm working it in for 5 mins at a time and then taking it back down. I'm sure that it is also contributing to the recent sore muscles as well.
Ellie has been doing fantastic with my dad as he watches her while I run. The first day or two she was a little hesitant that I left the room. Now its hard to even get her to acknowledge me when I'm done! She has a lot of fun playing with the toys and I know my dad is just thrilled to get to spend some time with her too. When the weather gets nice again, we won't go over there as much so I'm glad they are enjoying their time while they can.
My runs are getting faster! Not by a ton but I ran 3 miles last Saturday (outside) and ended with a time of 33 mins (approx) so roughly 11 min mile. My Turkey Trot time for 5k was 38.25. so I'm already 5 mins faster than my first race! Woot! That 3 miles though was tough. I really had to push for it and I did unfortunately have to take a 1/10 mile walk, I just couldn't breath! And at the end I felt like I was about to puke. Mid-day runs are a lot harder just because there is more food in my body and I'm naturally more tired. I tried to run that morning but it was about 17 deg. I gave up really quick. My nose was running, my eyes were tearing, my face was stinging, and my lungs were aching. By that afternoon it was 40 and sunny so I tried again and finished 3 miles.
Someday I may be inclined to train for a 10k. But right now, the 5k is still a challenge. Once I feel that its getting to easy I will start pushing either my speed or my distance. Still not sure which I would feel a greater sense of accomplishment by. I'm guessing distance. Nothing in me wants to run a half marathon. The 10k is a possibility though, we shall see. My next race is April 24th in my downtown area here.
On my wishlist is a Garmin running watch. I'm not a huge fan of the fitbit as I don't want or need a round the clock activity tracker. I'd just like to run without my phone attached to my upper arm and still have an accurate record of time and distance and be able to set it for interval training. But they are expensive and we are desperately trying to save money again so we can get a house. It is so hard when all I want to do is just buy stuff :) I keep telling myself its something I want not something I need. And when all is said and done, I want a house more than a running watch!
I just hope when we move there is still some good running trails and a good running store in the area and races to enter in. Hoping to know something soon on that front but all in God's timing.
I strained a muscle in my left foot on my last outside run and have been struggling with it the last 2 treadmill runs but I'm stubborn and won't rest unless I've really done some kind of damage to myself. As it is, I've not made it worse by continuing to run but the muscles around my shin have been more sore because I'm sure I'm not landing on my foot normally because of it.
I've also had to increase the incline on my treadmill runs because the outside runs have really been kicking my butt. Between the hills and the wind, its easy to get lazy on the controlled environment of the treadmill. So I've gone from 1 incline to varying it between 3.5 and 4. 4 is a little tough so I'm working it in for 5 mins at a time and then taking it back down. I'm sure that it is also contributing to the recent sore muscles as well.
Ellie has been doing fantastic with my dad as he watches her while I run. The first day or two she was a little hesitant that I left the room. Now its hard to even get her to acknowledge me when I'm done! She has a lot of fun playing with the toys and I know my dad is just thrilled to get to spend some time with her too. When the weather gets nice again, we won't go over there as much so I'm glad they are enjoying their time while they can.
My runs are getting faster! Not by a ton but I ran 3 miles last Saturday (outside) and ended with a time of 33 mins (approx) so roughly 11 min mile. My Turkey Trot time for 5k was 38.25. so I'm already 5 mins faster than my first race! Woot! That 3 miles though was tough. I really had to push for it and I did unfortunately have to take a 1/10 mile walk, I just couldn't breath! And at the end I felt like I was about to puke. Mid-day runs are a lot harder just because there is more food in my body and I'm naturally more tired. I tried to run that morning but it was about 17 deg. I gave up really quick. My nose was running, my eyes were tearing, my face was stinging, and my lungs were aching. By that afternoon it was 40 and sunny so I tried again and finished 3 miles.
Someday I may be inclined to train for a 10k. But right now, the 5k is still a challenge. Once I feel that its getting to easy I will start pushing either my speed or my distance. Still not sure which I would feel a greater sense of accomplishment by. I'm guessing distance. Nothing in me wants to run a half marathon. The 10k is a possibility though, we shall see. My next race is April 24th in my downtown area here.
On my wishlist is a Garmin running watch. I'm not a huge fan of the fitbit as I don't want or need a round the clock activity tracker. I'd just like to run without my phone attached to my upper arm and still have an accurate record of time and distance and be able to set it for interval training. But they are expensive and we are desperately trying to save money again so we can get a house. It is so hard when all I want to do is just buy stuff :) I keep telling myself its something I want not something I need. And when all is said and done, I want a house more than a running watch!
I just hope when we move there is still some good running trails and a good running store in the area and races to enter in. Hoping to know something soon on that front but all in God's timing.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
2 years; 6 months
Yesterday my miracle of a baby girl turned 2! Never in my life would I have dreamed that having my family would be so darn difficult. But we have a big God that says anything is possible. And by His grace, we have been given the gift of our daughters.
We didn't plan a big party for Ellie this year. A few months ago, our mommy group had a group party for all the kiddos with winter birthdays and we all went to the local children's museum and had snacks and cupcakes. We had planned to do cake and singing at a small family gathering that had been previously planned with my side but that happened to be the weekend Ellie got the stomach flu, so that didn't happen. Two days before Ellie's birthday Eric had to take a trip to South Dakota for work. South Dakota + winter= blizzard. He got stuck there for an entire extra day and thus missed seeing Ellie on her birthday. We did Skype that morning but we missed him a lot over those three days. So Ellie's birthday has been a bit extended. We saw my dad on her birthday while I ran the treadmill, my mom and brother came over that night to do presents and sing and eat cupcakes. Today, with Eric home, we did presents, singing, and cupcakes again. Eric's parents also had some delays coming up and will now come tomorrow to do the whole routine again. So Ellie pretty much gets to feel special all week. Just how it should be :)
She had a 2 year check up today and only needed one shot, yay! She might be a picky eater but she is in the 42nd percentile for weight and now the 38th percentile for height. And she is now officially taller than her friend the storm trooper (whom she still gives hugs to before nap and bed times). She is getting so big so fast, my little baby is disappearing. She loves to talk and sing, build legos, color, plays with her baby dolls and play food, she adores puppies more than any other animal and spotting school buses on the road. She is a good little sleeper still and naps and goes to bed at pretty predictable times. She squeals with delight when she sees her friends and family and runs around in circles with excitement. She has gone on the potty a couple of times but does not seem quite ready to really start potty training so I'm tying not to push it. She continues to be a picky eater rejecting what is not familiar or has a different texture. Trying to be patient with this but it is hard. She does love peanut butter, pancakes, bacon, mac and cheese, alfredo noodles, peas, cheerios, any fruit, chicken nuggets, and french fries.
This Sunday (7th) will be 6 months since Alexandra went to be with Jesus. We don't talk with Ellie about her but she is never far from our thoughts. I still talk about her when the opportunity presents itself but we are doing ok. Still purging baby stuff and what left is not selling very well. Some will end up being given away, hopefully to a new mom in need. I'm still running. We are still anticipating an adoption in the next couple of years. We are healing. But there will always be a Lexie shaped hole in our family pictures.
So here are some of the highlights of Ellie's 2nd birthday:
We didn't plan a big party for Ellie this year. A few months ago, our mommy group had a group party for all the kiddos with winter birthdays and we all went to the local children's museum and had snacks and cupcakes. We had planned to do cake and singing at a small family gathering that had been previously planned with my side but that happened to be the weekend Ellie got the stomach flu, so that didn't happen. Two days before Ellie's birthday Eric had to take a trip to South Dakota for work. South Dakota + winter= blizzard. He got stuck there for an entire extra day and thus missed seeing Ellie on her birthday. We did Skype that morning but we missed him a lot over those three days. So Ellie's birthday has been a bit extended. We saw my dad on her birthday while I ran the treadmill, my mom and brother came over that night to do presents and sing and eat cupcakes. Today, with Eric home, we did presents, singing, and cupcakes again. Eric's parents also had some delays coming up and will now come tomorrow to do the whole routine again. So Ellie pretty much gets to feel special all week. Just how it should be :)
She had a 2 year check up today and only needed one shot, yay! She might be a picky eater but she is in the 42nd percentile for weight and now the 38th percentile for height. And she is now officially taller than her friend the storm trooper (whom she still gives hugs to before nap and bed times). She is getting so big so fast, my little baby is disappearing. She loves to talk and sing, build legos, color, plays with her baby dolls and play food, she adores puppies more than any other animal and spotting school buses on the road. She is a good little sleeper still and naps and goes to bed at pretty predictable times. She squeals with delight when she sees her friends and family and runs around in circles with excitement. She has gone on the potty a couple of times but does not seem quite ready to really start potty training so I'm tying not to push it. She continues to be a picky eater rejecting what is not familiar or has a different texture. Trying to be patient with this but it is hard. She does love peanut butter, pancakes, bacon, mac and cheese, alfredo noodles, peas, cheerios, any fruit, chicken nuggets, and french fries.
This Sunday (7th) will be 6 months since Alexandra went to be with Jesus. We don't talk with Ellie about her but she is never far from our thoughts. I still talk about her when the opportunity presents itself but we are doing ok. Still purging baby stuff and what left is not selling very well. Some will end up being given away, hopefully to a new mom in need. I'm still running. We are still anticipating an adoption in the next couple of years. We are healing. But there will always be a Lexie shaped hole in our family pictures.
So here are some of the highlights of Ellie's 2nd birthday:
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| I'm THIS many |
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| Balloons from grandma and grandpa |
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| birthday lunch, mac and cheese and chicken nuggets |
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| Very pink cupcakes! |
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| Ready for opening day! |
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| Traditional picture with the birthday hat |
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| Yum! |
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| Glad to have daddy home again |
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Milestone
Just last week, this blog passed 5000 views. Wowsers! I think that is mostly due to posting the link to FB since just 2 or 3 actual follow it. And many of those views are because we lost a baby. How many people friended me on FB just because I lost a baby? Quite a few. Like they want to keep tabs on me now that disaster has struck? Who knows but in my grumpier moments, those are things I think.
Purging is the name of the game right now. I am desperately trying to get rid of the baby stuff in this house. Its just a sad reminder now that I'll never have another baby to use those things with again. Better to sell it off or give it away to someone who will use it. We plan to use/save the money for Ellie for when we get into a house and we can get her a water/sand table and also put her in a park district class too.
We are also desperately trying to save money again. I've gotten back to tracking expenses and couponing (to a lesser degree) and making trips to Sams/Costco to buy some of our staple items in bulk to save money. But the bigger and harder thing to do is to cut our misc spending. And that is largely my doing. Running clothes/accessories are always a temptation, buying random things for Ellie that she might not really need, eating out, over spending on gifts... these things really take their toll. Reigning myself in and sticking to a shopping list is hard. Not going out somedays is hard (esp in the winter) but in just a few weeks I can already see that I am spending less money. We were able to move some money to savings this week but not as much as I would have like. A bonus check will pay Eric's last school bill and hopefully a little bit of the cost for the new tires for the car. Before the big move comes we really need to crack down on the budget. Its just so much harder to do now with a 2 year old and 1 income. But the medical bills should slow down to a trickle. I am expecting another bill or two from the infertility doctor and then it should be quiet for a while unless someone gets sick or hurt. Praying against that!
We know there is a church interested in hiring Eric but we have no idea where it is or when they might call. But it still gives us hope that his career change is still just around the corner and we just have to wait for God's timing. But the waiting is also the hardest part.
My next post will be for Ellie's 2nd birthday. My colicky little baby is going to be 2! Its so hard to believe just how big she really is. I love every moment with her, even when she woke me up at 5 this morning :)
Purging is the name of the game right now. I am desperately trying to get rid of the baby stuff in this house. Its just a sad reminder now that I'll never have another baby to use those things with again. Better to sell it off or give it away to someone who will use it. We plan to use/save the money for Ellie for when we get into a house and we can get her a water/sand table and also put her in a park district class too.
We are also desperately trying to save money again. I've gotten back to tracking expenses and couponing (to a lesser degree) and making trips to Sams/Costco to buy some of our staple items in bulk to save money. But the bigger and harder thing to do is to cut our misc spending. And that is largely my doing. Running clothes/accessories are always a temptation, buying random things for Ellie that she might not really need, eating out, over spending on gifts... these things really take their toll. Reigning myself in and sticking to a shopping list is hard. Not going out somedays is hard (esp in the winter) but in just a few weeks I can already see that I am spending less money. We were able to move some money to savings this week but not as much as I would have like. A bonus check will pay Eric's last school bill and hopefully a little bit of the cost for the new tires for the car. Before the big move comes we really need to crack down on the budget. Its just so much harder to do now with a 2 year old and 1 income. But the medical bills should slow down to a trickle. I am expecting another bill or two from the infertility doctor and then it should be quiet for a while unless someone gets sick or hurt. Praying against that!
We know there is a church interested in hiring Eric but we have no idea where it is or when they might call. But it still gives us hope that his career change is still just around the corner and we just have to wait for God's timing. But the waiting is also the hardest part.
My next post will be for Ellie's 2nd birthday. My colicky little baby is going to be 2! Its so hard to believe just how big she really is. I love every moment with her, even when she woke me up at 5 this morning :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
crash and burn
My diet that is. After a failed transfer it always happens. While you are in a cycle, it is encouraged that you keep a "pregnancy diet" and consume no caffeine and no alcohol. I adhere to this diet religiously. Lots of spinach, fish, proteins, veggies and fruit. All good for your body (and potential baby) foods. I give up all caffeine and soda and wine (even communion wine) and eliminate most chips and other salty snacks. I never wanted to have to wonder if I had had a better diet, maybe I would have had a different result. There are lots of medications to take as well: pills, creams, shots, plus weekly blood draws. So when its all done and you didn't get what you want...well, I fall off the healthy eating wagon in a bad way. I love my morning coffee, I'll take caffeine any time I can get it. I get the munchies and just want chips and crap all the time. I still have carrots and yogurt but who wants those when I can eat crap instead? This in some way is my "reward" for being good for so long.
But it takes its toll. I don't feel as good. My breakfast and dinners are usually still good and healthy, I still get lots of fruit and veggies. Good proteins. The diet crash, winter depression, the current cold snap that keeps us indoors, it all combines to make me feel lethargic, out of shape, bored, and stuck. And I hate feeling that way!
So this week, regardless of cold, we are getting out. To the arboretum, to visit friends and purge some more baby stuff, and getting my butt on the treadmill in preparation for spring 5Ks. I'm getting rid of all the stuff Ellie has outgrown. Some of it, I'm giving away. Some of it I'm selling so we can save the money for post-move and I can get Ellie some outdoor things like water table or sandbox.
My diet will level out again and I will start feeling even better the closer we get to spring. I'm doing fairly well getting up before Ellie most days to have my devotional time. It has already become a vital part of my day where I can receive comfort and guidance from God through his Word and time to pray about the things that I find myself feeling anxious about and to be thankful for all the blessings in my life. To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen
But it takes its toll. I don't feel as good. My breakfast and dinners are usually still good and healthy, I still get lots of fruit and veggies. Good proteins. The diet crash, winter depression, the current cold snap that keeps us indoors, it all combines to make me feel lethargic, out of shape, bored, and stuck. And I hate feeling that way!
So this week, regardless of cold, we are getting out. To the arboretum, to visit friends and purge some more baby stuff, and getting my butt on the treadmill in preparation for spring 5Ks. I'm getting rid of all the stuff Ellie has outgrown. Some of it, I'm giving away. Some of it I'm selling so we can save the money for post-move and I can get Ellie some outdoor things like water table or sandbox.
My diet will level out again and I will start feeling even better the closer we get to spring. I'm doing fairly well getting up before Ellie most days to have my devotional time. It has already become a vital part of my day where I can receive comfort and guidance from God through his Word and time to pray about the things that I find myself feeling anxious about and to be thankful for all the blessings in my life. To God be the glory, forever and ever, Amen
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
The end of Part 1
Four and a half years. All but 8 months of our marriage. That's how long we've been trying to have our family. And today, we have officially reached the end of part 1 of our story. Today we found out that our 7th embryo transfer failed. So since 2013 we have had 2 chemical pregnancies, 3 failed cycles, one term birth and one preterm birth and one natural pregnancy and miscarriage. I have officially been pregnant 5 times. I feel a lot of different things at different times, sometimes even at the same time. I've been angry, sad, jealous, envious, frustrated, overwhelmed, heart broken, crushed, and more.
I think I will always feel sad but I also feel relieved. I no longer have to wonder "if I get pregnant the next round" because there are no more rounds coming. No more blood draws, no more ultrasounds, no more pills, no more shots, no more transfers, no more pregnancy diets. No more putting my life on hold.
We did the best we could for as long as we could. We used every single embryo that was created for us. We lost many in thawing, we lost many in my womb. We lost our sweet Lexie. I will not look back on this time and wonder if we did everything we could. We really truly did. And now its over. We have our beautiful Ellie. And more than ever before, she is our walking talking daily reminder that miracles do happen!
And a HUGE shout out to my RE Dr Randy Morris. He and his staff are remarkable. From his bedside manner, to the nurses, ultrasound techs, the phlebotomists, receptionists, and surgical staff. Absolutely amazing from start to finish. They've put up with a lot of craziness from me over the last 4 years and they did it with grace. I'd recommend them to anyone unfortunate enough to need them!
I'm sure I've not taken my last pregnancy test. I wish. I will always have them in stock, probably until I hit menopause or have a hysterectomy, when all hope is truly gone. We have less than a 5% chance of getting pregnant and if we do (like we did) odd are we would miscarry. But the monthly anxiety that comes with waiting for the cycle to start can't be a part of my life anymore. It can't be my focus. If it does, I'm in serious trouble. I have a toddler to raise, a house to maintain, and many, many more races to run! That's enough for me!
So the task at hand now is to purge. I'm selling or giving away all my maternity wear and Ellie's infant equipment. We can't take steps towards foster-to-adopt until Eric takes his first call and we get settled into a house somewhere. But I am starting to dream along those lines. This step I feel has been a long time coming.
My devotion today really spoke to my heart. From "Jesus Lives"...This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. That is why I say "Trust Me!"... find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you... see Isaiah 50:10 and Psalms 42:5
I teared up several times writing this entry. This is my heart. This is my journey. Its ugly, its hard, but in the end, there is peace. We have been loved so much during this time of trial in our lives. So much love and support that I still can't fully believe it sometimes. I've met so many, many women who are on this wretched path with me who know my pain like others can't. But we get through it, together.
I think I will always feel sad but I also feel relieved. I no longer have to wonder "if I get pregnant the next round" because there are no more rounds coming. No more blood draws, no more ultrasounds, no more pills, no more shots, no more transfers, no more pregnancy diets. No more putting my life on hold.
We did the best we could for as long as we could. We used every single embryo that was created for us. We lost many in thawing, we lost many in my womb. We lost our sweet Lexie. I will not look back on this time and wonder if we did everything we could. We really truly did. And now its over. We have our beautiful Ellie. And more than ever before, she is our walking talking daily reminder that miracles do happen!
And a HUGE shout out to my RE Dr Randy Morris. He and his staff are remarkable. From his bedside manner, to the nurses, ultrasound techs, the phlebotomists, receptionists, and surgical staff. Absolutely amazing from start to finish. They've put up with a lot of craziness from me over the last 4 years and they did it with grace. I'd recommend them to anyone unfortunate enough to need them!
I'm sure I've not taken my last pregnancy test. I wish. I will always have them in stock, probably until I hit menopause or have a hysterectomy, when all hope is truly gone. We have less than a 5% chance of getting pregnant and if we do (like we did) odd are we would miscarry. But the monthly anxiety that comes with waiting for the cycle to start can't be a part of my life anymore. It can't be my focus. If it does, I'm in serious trouble. I have a toddler to raise, a house to maintain, and many, many more races to run! That's enough for me!
So the task at hand now is to purge. I'm selling or giving away all my maternity wear and Ellie's infant equipment. We can't take steps towards foster-to-adopt until Eric takes his first call and we get settled into a house somewhere. But I am starting to dream along those lines. This step I feel has been a long time coming.
My devotion today really spoke to my heart. From "Jesus Lives"...This path is not of your choosing, but it is My way for you. I am doing things you can't understand. That is why I say "Trust Me!"... find hope in Me, beloved, for I am taking care of you... see Isaiah 50:10 and Psalms 42:5
I teared up several times writing this entry. This is my heart. This is my journey. Its ugly, its hard, but in the end, there is peace. We have been loved so much during this time of trial in our lives. So much love and support that I still can't fully believe it sometimes. I've met so many, many women who are on this wretched path with me who know my pain like others can't. But we get through it, together.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Couch time
Ellie really likes her routines. She doesn't realize it but I never get her out of bed before 7am even if she is awake. The exception is if she is sick or for some reason is screaming bloody murder. But normally she plays happily in the dark with her stuffed animals and musical puppy until I finish my devotional time and go and get her. We have our breakfast, varies from day to day but her mealtime vocabulary is very good. We've started sharing a peeled orange in the mornings sometimes too. Today before naptime she thanked God for fruit, oranges, and strawberries. And of course, her grandparents. They always come first in the list. :)
After breakfast has been cleaned up, I unknowingly created another routine. I've dubbed it "couch time". Its the 30-60 mins that she lays back on me on the couch, both of us covered in a blanket and watch curious george and/or cat in the hat. Depending on the plans for the morning, it may be longer or shorter. Anyway, it gives me some time to rest before the day really begins (since I can't have coffee) and as a bonus, my little girl is totally ok with cuddling with mommy. The other day, I tried to get her to try to use the potty before we sat down and she very adamantly insisted on "couch". Everyday I realize that someday, probably soon, she is going to grow out of that routine. And I will miss her warm little body just resting against mine. I won't be able to tighten my arms around her like I do 100 times during couch time, or kiss the top of her head just because I can. Because she will be up and running and learning and making a mess and all those things 2 year olds do. Same thing with our bedtime routine. She likes to be held while we sing and pray. This too she will grow out of.
So I will enjoy every moment of babiness that I have with her. She is growing and getting smarter every day. She frustrates me to no end some days and other days are more or less, good days. She will be 2 next month and I know we have a lot of trials ahead of us. She is still missing 3 teeth plus her two year molars. Not looking forward to that. The picky eating has been in full force for a couple of months now. Right now we are on an upswing and she will eat at least some dinner most nights. Anyway, I'll wait until she turns two and she's had her 2 year check up at the doctors to report on the rest of her development.
2016 should be an interesting year. Eric is officially in the second half of his internship which is the last leg of his coursework for his Lay Ministry certification. Its been quite a journey with him in school part time for the last 2 years. He could conceivably be called to work in an LCMS church pretty much anywhere. We are hoping it will be to a place that we can afford to buy a home. But also some place that we are still within decent driving distance to see our families. Basically a lay minister is the senior pastors right hand man. It is often described as a deacon position but its actually a different certification. He will not be ordained. He cannot be a lead pastor. But he will be qualified to fill a great many positions under the pastor that a church may need. He will always find opportunity to use his graphic design skills as well.
We are still hoping to have another healthy pregnancy. We feel very confident that we will! We are praying hard and expecting a miracle. And until we have answers on that, my running has been put on hold. I'm not a huge fan of treadmill running so I've tapered off a bit anyway, we shall see how the year pans out.
But for now I still need to pack up the Christmas tree while the wee one naps and enjoy the quiet while I have it :)
After breakfast has been cleaned up, I unknowingly created another routine. I've dubbed it "couch time". Its the 30-60 mins that she lays back on me on the couch, both of us covered in a blanket and watch curious george and/or cat in the hat. Depending on the plans for the morning, it may be longer or shorter. Anyway, it gives me some time to rest before the day really begins (since I can't have coffee) and as a bonus, my little girl is totally ok with cuddling with mommy. The other day, I tried to get her to try to use the potty before we sat down and she very adamantly insisted on "couch". Everyday I realize that someday, probably soon, she is going to grow out of that routine. And I will miss her warm little body just resting against mine. I won't be able to tighten my arms around her like I do 100 times during couch time, or kiss the top of her head just because I can. Because she will be up and running and learning and making a mess and all those things 2 year olds do. Same thing with our bedtime routine. She likes to be held while we sing and pray. This too she will grow out of.
So I will enjoy every moment of babiness that I have with her. She is growing and getting smarter every day. She frustrates me to no end some days and other days are more or less, good days. She will be 2 next month and I know we have a lot of trials ahead of us. She is still missing 3 teeth plus her two year molars. Not looking forward to that. The picky eating has been in full force for a couple of months now. Right now we are on an upswing and she will eat at least some dinner most nights. Anyway, I'll wait until she turns two and she's had her 2 year check up at the doctors to report on the rest of her development.
2016 should be an interesting year. Eric is officially in the second half of his internship which is the last leg of his coursework for his Lay Ministry certification. Its been quite a journey with him in school part time for the last 2 years. He could conceivably be called to work in an LCMS church pretty much anywhere. We are hoping it will be to a place that we can afford to buy a home. But also some place that we are still within decent driving distance to see our families. Basically a lay minister is the senior pastors right hand man. It is often described as a deacon position but its actually a different certification. He will not be ordained. He cannot be a lead pastor. But he will be qualified to fill a great many positions under the pastor that a church may need. He will always find opportunity to use his graphic design skills as well.
We are still hoping to have another healthy pregnancy. We feel very confident that we will! We are praying hard and expecting a miracle. And until we have answers on that, my running has been put on hold. I'm not a huge fan of treadmill running so I've tapered off a bit anyway, we shall see how the year pans out.
But for now I still need to pack up the Christmas tree while the wee one naps and enjoy the quiet while I have it :)
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