All this week its seems like all my brain juice has been zapped. I can't always remember peoples names, a short grocery list, and anything on my to do list. I guess I started too many sentences directed at Eric with "remind me to" or "don't like me forget to" and he finally told me to start putting notes on doors or making a list. He is not so good at remembering to remind me of things. So that is my life these days. Trying to remember thing and get them done.
Eric has painted the nursery a very nice yellow. Eric made a border that is easily removable for the trim, it matches our bedding set. I got it used and there wasn't enough border left to go all the way around the room. Just need to get it printed. Tonight we go to Ikea for a dresser. The crib is on the Target registry. And we are tired! I'm tired just thinking about all that's on the calendar for the next two months. Childbirth classes, baby care class, breastfeeding class, Thanksgiving, 2 showers, Christmas, two office Christmas parties, and then all the normal stuff that fills our weeks besides. I have learned that I can't push myself too hard these days. If I don't rest enough during a busy weekend my back will ache by 6pm. Sometimes I feel a gentle kicking by the baby girl around mid-day and I feel like she is signaling me to go take a break. She has been letting me sleep pretty well at night. Can't say the same for Eric. We are both trying to kick the last of our colds and his snoring is pretty bad some nights. Breathe Right strips have 0 effect. But we are making do.
So we are now at 25 weeks, making 15 weeks left to go. 3 more weeks till the 3rd trimester begins. Weight gain is now up to 18 and I'm starting to fill in a bit in my face. Still can't seem to find the time to get any walking or other exercise in, maybe this week I'll be able to start. We shall see. I am also blaming the baby girl for eating an entire GF pizza (small) and tempting me to eat an entire bag of cookies. Just to show her who is boss, I bought a bag of apples today too!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
So much for sexy
Haha, this should not have been a surprise to me but somehow it has become one of the most frustrating side effects of pregnancy. I have always been underweight to the point of being more skin and bones then being attractively curvy. Being blonde and petite as a given in life has helped me to have a healthy self-esteem. Everyone wishes they could change something about their physical selves and I'm no exception. I struggled for years with braces, glasses, and finding my "style". But as I matured, I grew into myself, and have been fairly happy. Even happier when I met the love of my life and he loved me just the way I was too.
And now I have an extra 15 pounds on my waist. I LOVE my baby bump. I love showing it off. I love feeling my little girl moving around in there. We are going on 24 weeks now and so far everything is on target for her growth, my weight, and everything else. But... I'm not feeling so attractive in the way I used to. I feel awkward. I sometimes feel scared that too much physical activity is going to hurt her. I flash back to all the spotting I had in the first 12 weeks and I don't want to get scared like that again. But I miss my (our) old patterns/habits. If you really want to screw with your intimacy just go through infertility and IVF. You'll never look at sex the same way again. Maybe this is too much information for this blog but its been on my mind. And I know that the belly is only gonna grow. And then one day next year, we will be holding our daughter in our arms and our lives will be changed forever. Looking forward to that day...
And now I have an extra 15 pounds on my waist. I LOVE my baby bump. I love showing it off. I love feeling my little girl moving around in there. We are going on 24 weeks now and so far everything is on target for her growth, my weight, and everything else. But... I'm not feeling so attractive in the way I used to. I feel awkward. I sometimes feel scared that too much physical activity is going to hurt her. I flash back to all the spotting I had in the first 12 weeks and I don't want to get scared like that again. But I miss my (our) old patterns/habits. If you really want to screw with your intimacy just go through infertility and IVF. You'll never look at sex the same way again. Maybe this is too much information for this blog but its been on my mind. And I know that the belly is only gonna grow. And then one day next year, we will be holding our daughter in our arms and our lives will be changed forever. Looking forward to that day...
Saturday, October 5, 2013
All you need is love
Well, if that were true, then why do babies need so much "equipment"? As we've been gathering baby stuffs from garage sales and friends it is a bit overwhelming just how much "stuff" we think a baby needs. Legitimately, we need a crib and somewhere to store clothing. But the rest? Why can't we change the baby on the floor? Do they really need a bouncy seat? An activity yard/tummy time mat? A swing? Carseat/stroller? Not only do these things cost a lot of money (new) but they also take up a ton of space in your house.
I started thinking about babies born in 3rd world countries. What do they need? They are raised with next to nothing. So all of the 'baby equipment' is really just part of the consumerism of the developed nations? Cultures that make a huge deal out of the "first" baby (and sometimes the second and third ones get showers too, totally do not get that at all) spend a lot of money supporting the baby industry. And it just makes me wonder. What is it all for? I've come up against this time and again as we've been discussing the design for our nursery. In the end, the baby doesn't care. Its the adults that are obsessed with style and colors and making everything cute and perfect. Why do we need to make it "look" so good? We do we care what other people think?
And the answer is, because its programmed into our brains to care. I am married to an artist and he cares A LOT about how the nursery is going to look. Much more than I do. We have bought some baby gear for good prices at garage sales and from Craig's List and will continue to receive donated and borrowed cothing/gear from friends and family. In two weeks time we will probably make our registry for the items we desire to have new.
Back to babies in 3rd world countries. It is important to note that those babies don't always develop normally. In Bolivia and many other cultures, native women wrap their infants tightly in cloths and carry them sling like on their backs for the majority of the day. These babies can end up having poorly developed muscles and joints since they haven't been able to move around. They only get good nutrients from being breastfeed if the mother has good nutrition which is not very often. So babies of developed nations probably do have healthier and stronger, well developed babies. But the consumerism is still sickening when you look at a baby gear warehouse like babies R us or buy buy baby.
So we go forward with getting ready for this little one to arrive in Feb trying to only buy what is really needed for the child. And that involves entertainment and education as well as safety. Which still ends up being a lot. Oh well.
I started thinking about babies born in 3rd world countries. What do they need? They are raised with next to nothing. So all of the 'baby equipment' is really just part of the consumerism of the developed nations? Cultures that make a huge deal out of the "first" baby (and sometimes the second and third ones get showers too, totally do not get that at all) spend a lot of money supporting the baby industry. And it just makes me wonder. What is it all for? I've come up against this time and again as we've been discussing the design for our nursery. In the end, the baby doesn't care. Its the adults that are obsessed with style and colors and making everything cute and perfect. Why do we need to make it "look" so good? We do we care what other people think?
And the answer is, because its programmed into our brains to care. I am married to an artist and he cares A LOT about how the nursery is going to look. Much more than I do. We have bought some baby gear for good prices at garage sales and from Craig's List and will continue to receive donated and borrowed cothing/gear from friends and family. In two weeks time we will probably make our registry for the items we desire to have new.
Back to babies in 3rd world countries. It is important to note that those babies don't always develop normally. In Bolivia and many other cultures, native women wrap their infants tightly in cloths and carry them sling like on their backs for the majority of the day. These babies can end up having poorly developed muscles and joints since they haven't been able to move around. They only get good nutrients from being breastfeed if the mother has good nutrition which is not very often. So babies of developed nations probably do have healthier and stronger, well developed babies. But the consumerism is still sickening when you look at a baby gear warehouse like babies R us or buy buy baby.
So we go forward with getting ready for this little one to arrive in Feb trying to only buy what is really needed for the child. And that involves entertainment and education as well as safety. Which still ends up being a lot. Oh well.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Its a bird, its a plane, its a ...
It's a baby GIRL! We just found out today that we are having a girl. The ultrasound went well and showed the growth right on track and no abnormalities. The nurse was pretty sure it was a girl but wanted the doc to confirm it. Baby was blocking the 'view' with her legs no matter what he tired but in the end he was 99.9% sure that our baby is indeed a girl. I will have another ultrasound (different purpose) in about a month and they will re-confirm the gender. But for now, we are going with baby girl.
And she is making her presence known. About a week ago I started feeling the flutters of her movements. And then in the last couple of days, stronger kicks and punches. Mostly on the center to left of my tummy. Which is where her hands and feet currently are so that makes sense.
Friends and family are already packing up baby girl clothes to give us. So that's hand-me-downs from Eric's 3 nieces, my niece, my cousins daughter, and my friends sister-in-laws 2 daughters. I think we are probably never going to have a buy a piece of girls clothing till our baby is a teenager! The nursery is another matter. We are not sure what our décor is going to be in there. The artist in Eric is still trying to figure out the best color scheme. I'm trying to figure out accent décor that can be ordered on Amazon (one of our registries) or at Target (the other registry). Eric wasn't thrilled with the Target options so we will see what we end up with. We need to at least getting the painting done before the weather turns too cold so we can adequately air out the room.
So that is the latest and greatest on our little family!
And she is making her presence known. About a week ago I started feeling the flutters of her movements. And then in the last couple of days, stronger kicks and punches. Mostly on the center to left of my tummy. Which is where her hands and feet currently are so that makes sense.
Friends and family are already packing up baby girl clothes to give us. So that's hand-me-downs from Eric's 3 nieces, my niece, my cousins daughter, and my friends sister-in-laws 2 daughters. I think we are probably never going to have a buy a piece of girls clothing till our baby is a teenager! The nursery is another matter. We are not sure what our décor is going to be in there. The artist in Eric is still trying to figure out the best color scheme. I'm trying to figure out accent décor that can be ordered on Amazon (one of our registries) or at Target (the other registry). Eric wasn't thrilled with the Target options so we will see what we end up with. We need to at least getting the painting done before the weather turns too cold so we can adequately air out the room.
So that is the latest and greatest on our little family!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
17 weeks
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The more things change...
...The more they stay the same. I remember back when Eric and I had been married for just 9 months. I remember saying to him, if we had gotten pregnant on our wedding night, we would be having a baby right now. And his reaction was typical "you would have been pregnant this whole time?" That I think was the first time he realized just how long it really takes to grow a little human being. So here we are, 4 months in, 5 (ok 6) months to go. I started off with that quote because it does seem like everything is changing but nothing is changing except maybe my waist line. We talk a lot about what we are going to do, we pick up things at garage sales, we look at paint colors, I watch my weight on the scale, and I look forward to my next appointment where I will once again be able to hear my baby's heart beat.
Now that I am at week 16, my bump is becoming quite obvious if I'm wearing a tighter fitting shirt. I've long since given up on my jeans and now can only wear maternity pants. In 4 weeks (Sept 20th) we will learn the gender of our baby and will share that information. We have decided to keep our names for the baby secret until the birth. Everyone knows about the pregnancy now and its still a bit weird to not be keeping it a secret anymore. And to be honest, I still feel anxiety. Not sure that is ever going to go away, at least not until I'm holding baby Gradberg in my arms.
Physically, I am feeling pretty good. Growing a little human is tiring stuff and I still very often take a nap after work and on the weekends. I have pain/stiffness in my lower back and have a hard time getting off the floor from a squat without my knees crying out in pain. But that's par for the course. So I try not to complain too much. I am anxious to start feeling Baby Gradberg move. Anytime between now and the next 4 weeks is when I should start feeling him. They say thinner women often can feel the movements earlier so I am hoping that will be true for me.
My mom is already busy planning the baby shower for the family since it will fall around the holidays and she wants to do it earlier then later. I've known too many babies to come early that I don't want to wait for my showers to be in January. Esp with IVF they tend to predict early labor and I have to have a test done every 4 weeks to ensure that isn't happening. Bed rest may be a real possibility if things start happening to early. I am also looking forward to leaving my job! Somedays I just want to throw in the towel and just walk out on them. But I'm too responsible for that. We need my income for as long as we have it. Getting another job at this point would be fairly impossible and I don't want to have to be on my feet anyway.
So that's it for now!
Now that I am at week 16, my bump is becoming quite obvious if I'm wearing a tighter fitting shirt. I've long since given up on my jeans and now can only wear maternity pants. In 4 weeks (Sept 20th) we will learn the gender of our baby and will share that information. We have decided to keep our names for the baby secret until the birth. Everyone knows about the pregnancy now and its still a bit weird to not be keeping it a secret anymore. And to be honest, I still feel anxiety. Not sure that is ever going to go away, at least not until I'm holding baby Gradberg in my arms.
Physically, I am feeling pretty good. Growing a little human is tiring stuff and I still very often take a nap after work and on the weekends. I have pain/stiffness in my lower back and have a hard time getting off the floor from a squat without my knees crying out in pain. But that's par for the course. So I try not to complain too much. I am anxious to start feeling Baby Gradberg move. Anytime between now and the next 4 weeks is when I should start feeling him. They say thinner women often can feel the movements earlier so I am hoping that will be true for me.
My mom is already busy planning the baby shower for the family since it will fall around the holidays and she wants to do it earlier then later. I've known too many babies to come early that I don't want to wait for my showers to be in January. Esp with IVF they tend to predict early labor and I have to have a test done every 4 weeks to ensure that isn't happening. Bed rest may be a real possibility if things start happening to early. I am also looking forward to leaving my job! Somedays I just want to throw in the towel and just walk out on them. But I'm too responsible for that. We need my income for as long as we have it. Getting another job at this point would be fairly impossible and I don't want to have to be on my feet anyway.
So that's it for now!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Heartbeats
They say you never forget the first time you hear your baby's heartbeat. And I don't think I ever will. This weekend we announced to friends (and some total strangers) that we are now celebrating our 12th week of pregnancy. I was able to finally wear a more form fitting shirt and allow my little baby bump to show. It feels strange to me now to be able to tell people openly about the pregnancy after keeping it secret for so long. And its because we reached the magical week # 12. The end of the first and beginning of the second trimester.
We've been waiting exactly 2 years for this miracle to happen in our lives. Two long, anxious, painful, expensive years. Yes, it brought Eric and I closer together for sure. Strengthen our faith in God. But it also gave others the opportunity to minister to us. Through their prayers, shared experiences, notes in the mail, and other means of encouragement. Even though we are in the less the 1% category for miscarriage it can still happen. We pray it doesn't. I honestly don't know what I'd do if we lost another pregnancy. I choose not to dwell on the what ifs. Instead I choose to plan and prepare for our child.
I've been garage saling every weekend the weather is decent. I've been researching cloth diapers and figuring out where the registry will be. I've been reading my pregnancy books. I've been slowing growing out of my jeans. I've been sick off and on but had a very easy first 12 weeks compared to some other women. I've been trying to gain some healthy weight and add more protein to my diet.
I've also been plenty scared. Only a woman who has been through a miscarriage can really know just how scary a pregnancy can be. I didn't start believing this baby would make it until the second time I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound. When I saw his/her little body growing from week to week (infertility treatments allow for lots of ultrasounds) I was slowly becoming more confident that this one was going to make it.
And then the spotting started. Talk about my confidence level going back to zero. No matter how many times the nurses told me it was 'normal' and that it happens to 'everyone' it still caused me no small amount of anxiety. Then I finally went the space of about 2 weeks or so with no spotting at all and I thought I was done with that. Then this weekend (of all weekends) when I was so excited to tell all our friends the good news, along comes the spotting again. Scarier this time because I just finished taking the last of the medicine. We shared the news regardless and I had a quicky ultrasound done today and everything looks 'perfect' they say and they can't see where the blood came from.
So this may still be an ongoing struggle for me. Why some women have bleeding throughout their pregnancies and others don't bleed a single drop is one of those mysteries. But I will keep on doing what I'm doing. Eating well, trying to do some yoga for exercise, praying daily, and trying not to worry about the 'what ifs'. We will find out the gender sometime in September but we are choosing to only share our names with our families until this little guy/girl is born. Predicated due date is Feb 8th, 2014. :)
We've been waiting exactly 2 years for this miracle to happen in our lives. Two long, anxious, painful, expensive years. Yes, it brought Eric and I closer together for sure. Strengthen our faith in God. But it also gave others the opportunity to minister to us. Through their prayers, shared experiences, notes in the mail, and other means of encouragement. Even though we are in the less the 1% category for miscarriage it can still happen. We pray it doesn't. I honestly don't know what I'd do if we lost another pregnancy. I choose not to dwell on the what ifs. Instead I choose to plan and prepare for our child.
I've been garage saling every weekend the weather is decent. I've been researching cloth diapers and figuring out where the registry will be. I've been reading my pregnancy books. I've been slowing growing out of my jeans. I've been sick off and on but had a very easy first 12 weeks compared to some other women. I've been trying to gain some healthy weight and add more protein to my diet.
I've also been plenty scared. Only a woman who has been through a miscarriage can really know just how scary a pregnancy can be. I didn't start believing this baby would make it until the second time I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound. When I saw his/her little body growing from week to week (infertility treatments allow for lots of ultrasounds) I was slowly becoming more confident that this one was going to make it.
And then the spotting started. Talk about my confidence level going back to zero. No matter how many times the nurses told me it was 'normal' and that it happens to 'everyone' it still caused me no small amount of anxiety. Then I finally went the space of about 2 weeks or so with no spotting at all and I thought I was done with that. Then this weekend (of all weekends) when I was so excited to tell all our friends the good news, along comes the spotting again. Scarier this time because I just finished taking the last of the medicine. We shared the news regardless and I had a quicky ultrasound done today and everything looks 'perfect' they say and they can't see where the blood came from.
So this may still be an ongoing struggle for me. Why some women have bleeding throughout their pregnancies and others don't bleed a single drop is one of those mysteries. But I will keep on doing what I'm doing. Eating well, trying to do some yoga for exercise, praying daily, and trying not to worry about the 'what ifs'. We will find out the gender sometime in September but we are choosing to only share our names with our families until this little guy/girl is born. Predicated due date is Feb 8th, 2014. :)
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