I am a terrible blogger. So much has happened in the last couple of months that I've hardly been able to process it all much less write about it.
A few months ago we suffered our first miscarriage. I don't know that I've ever felt a pain like that in my life. All of our efforts (and money), the best medical science had to offer, and I still couldn't carry a pregnancy. I was 4 weeks along so the baby wasn't even a blob on the ultrasound screen yet. No D&C was needed. But the emotional recovery still took time. I still prefer not to talk about it a lot. What's past is past. I choose not to dwell on it. We are not giving up on having a child. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. No matter how scary it is. I bought a wall plaque on vacation that simply says "Let your Faith be bigger then your Fear" and it serves as my daily reminder to not let fear govern my life and my decisions. Perfect love drives out fear. I still often feel afraid and unsure of myself and every time I do, I have to give it all over to God again. And God is good, all the time. I tell myself that often too.
My family moved into an extended stay hotel about 6 weeks ago so Eric and I have our home back. I'm glad we were able to help for as long as we did. That was quite the experience. But I'm glad to have our privacy and our regular routines back.
We also resigned our lease on our apartment for another year. We bid on two houses this year and both bids were rejected. The housing market has rather quickly become a sellers market and interest rates are now rising. As are the prices of the homes. With unexpected medical expenses (Eric's MRI on his shoulder), car repairs earlier this year, and now the start of paying for classes for Eric (Lay ministry program), it just doesn't seem wise to buy a home. We are not as financially stable as we hoped we be right now and once the program is done for Eric in 2.5 years, he could very well be called to a church no where near here and we would have to pack up and leave. We may never buy a home in Dupage county. We may never buy a home period. Whatever God's plan is we surrender to it and trust him to lead us down the roads he has prepared for us.
Eric's shoulder is sprained, not torn like we feared. He needs several weeks of PT but should be good as new soon. Eric left for 3 days this week to take to introductory class for the Lay Ministry Program out of Concordia Wisconsin. The rest of the course work will be done online so he can continue to work full-time. Its going to make for a very full schedule for him and some of his other activities are going to have to take a backseat for now.
Work for me is busy as usual. Its been a humid and stormy start to summer and AC units just don't like that. But thankfully, no more widespread flooding.
Thats it for now folks
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Blessed Assurance
We sang this song in church tonight. Sometimes, I will admit, during worship, my mouth says the words but I don't feel it in my spirit. No one's fault but my own really. And sometimes, like today, I will sing a song and I can feel my spirit saying "yes, this is true. This is what I am feeling. This is what I truly believe" and my spirit sings. The last verse speaks volumes to my spirit. With all the chaos and uncertainty in my life right now... It is amazing that this is true for me today. A lot of messages have been coming across my path lately about worry, fear, and anxiety and about giving it all to God. I think I finally did that (and nearly got a speeding ticket in the process, probably shouldn't have intense conversations with God while driving!). And tonight my spirit sings...
- Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. - This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long. - Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love. - Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Two Years
May marks 2 years of trying to conceive. Honestly, I don't know where the time has gone. It got lost somewhere between researching infertility and conceiving, specialists and tests, high hopes and dashed hopes, and saving money and losing money. And we are no better off (and poorer) then we were 2 years ago. We know the "why" we are infertil from the science side of things. Yet we still struggle with the "why us" question. And no one but God knows the answer to that one. We are not giving up on conceiving, but we are not really broadcasting our plans to others either. Our last attempted ended in failure and we felt that too many people had known about it. So our plans remain secret and within our families. Prayers for continued wisdom and patience during these trials are appreciated.
Speaking of family, my family is still here, living with us. It has been two weeks already and may be another 2-4 before they can go home. The village is making it difficult to get a permit and for the work to start. They have to issue a statement that says the house is structurally sound and then they can get the permit. They did indeed lose both of their cars and will be shopping for a new used car this weekend. They have had estimates done for the work on the house and many people have generously donated furniture items. The insurance adjuster has been through and the money for the repairs should come in soon. Now is kinda the fun part. Helping my mom remodel her house! New colors, new cabinets, new carpets and tile. Looking forward to it :)
Eric and I also put a bid on a house this week. This will only be the 3rd house we've bid on since we started this nonsense 2 years ago. Its in Woodridge and is a very nice foreclosure. We bid high and are hoping for the best. If we finally do run out of fertility options and end up going the foster care/adoption route we will need a house to make that happen.
I have been interviewing for a new job but nothing has come of it yet. I thought the interviews went really well but I believe at this point that one, I am overqualified for the positions I'm trying to get and two, with everything else going on in my life, adding interviews and a job change probably isn't the best of ideas. I do detest my office on most days but I'm at almost 3 years with the company. I've lasted this long, I can make it a little longer. Maybe at least through the summer then I can start looking again.
So! There is an update on my crazy life!
Speaking of family, my family is still here, living with us. It has been two weeks already and may be another 2-4 before they can go home. The village is making it difficult to get a permit and for the work to start. They have to issue a statement that says the house is structurally sound and then they can get the permit. They did indeed lose both of their cars and will be shopping for a new used car this weekend. They have had estimates done for the work on the house and many people have generously donated furniture items. The insurance adjuster has been through and the money for the repairs should come in soon. Now is kinda the fun part. Helping my mom remodel her house! New colors, new cabinets, new carpets and tile. Looking forward to it :)
Eric and I also put a bid on a house this week. This will only be the 3rd house we've bid on since we started this nonsense 2 years ago. Its in Woodridge and is a very nice foreclosure. We bid high and are hoping for the best. If we finally do run out of fertility options and end up going the foster care/adoption route we will need a house to make that happen.
I have been interviewing for a new job but nothing has come of it yet. I thought the interviews went really well but I believe at this point that one, I am overqualified for the positions I'm trying to get and two, with everything else going on in my life, adding interviews and a job change probably isn't the best of ideas. I do detest my office on most days but I'm at almost 3 years with the company. I've lasted this long, I can make it a little longer. Maybe at least through the summer then I can start looking again.
So! There is an update on my crazy life!
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Family and flooding
By now I'm sure most anyone who reads this blog has read my facebook posts, but a few may not have.
To sum it up, my families house in Lisle was caught in the middle of the overflow from a branch of the dupage river and the retention pound on the east side of Rt. 53. Thursday morning, after a night of pouring rain (about 5 inches total in less then 24 hours) the house started to take on water. My mother was trying to get to work when she was on the sidestreet of the house and her car started filling with water. She bailed out and got back to the house only to find the water level rising. They were stranded and needed to be rescued via life raft by the police. They got them to dry land and I left work to pick them up and bring them to my house.
That was probably one of the worst moments of my life. Seeing them walking down the street towards me. Soaking wet, dirty, carrying nothing but a few bags with a change of clothing, my brother pushing his walker along, looking for all the world like they had just lost everything they owned. When they were pulled out, they measured 16 inches of water had come in. The total was actually probably closer to 2-3 feet. We then spent the better part of an hour trying to get from one side of Rt. 53 to the other. Every route I tried was underwater. Then I got a flat tire and my dad and brother had to get the spare on. We finally got home after taking 355 from ogden to maple.
That was Thursday. Saturday morning the water level had dropped enough that we could get into the house and assess the damage. In short, almost everything was lost. Anything on the tops of beds, tables, and bookshelves was saved. Stuff hanging on the walls was saved. However, every piece of furniture is lost as are the beds, the carpets and tile, the cabinets, probably most if the appliances and at least 3 feet of the dry wall. Their insurance covers the house itself but not the contents. It sucks because they had to take down the coverage to the bare minimum just a few months ago because they are both underemployed and had to make cuts to the budget.
We spent Saturday gutting the house. Stinky, dirty business. By the end of day my back hurt so much I was limping BADLY around my house and was in extreme pain. By morning I was fine. My brother-in-law is a life saver and really took charge of the situation. My dad works nights and was only able to help for a few hours so he and Eric did most of the heavy lifting and removed the carpet. Mom and I packed bag after bag full of ruined personal items and tried to clean up the sewage and the best we could. Most of the expensive electronics were saved thankfully but this is going to be a long and expensive process of putting the house back to normal. The city of Lisle is considered a disaster area by the government and we should see some financial assistance from there at some point.
At least one of the two cars is totaled. My dads was submerged only to the just below the headlights (dodge caravan) so we hope that one can be salvaged but we don't know yet. They will get market value for the two cars if they are both totaled.
In the meantime, my parents and one of my brothers are living like refugees at my house. Friends have loaned us air mattresses and bedding. I've had to figure out how to cook for 5 people instead of 2. Thankfully the store had a by one get one free sale on the chicken we buy. That helps. But it is weird seeing my family all the time. And it could still be several weeks before they can live in the house again. We have all been knocked off our schedules and its creating a lot of stress. Hoping the work week brings so ensemble of normal back to our lives.
To sum it up, my families house in Lisle was caught in the middle of the overflow from a branch of the dupage river and the retention pound on the east side of Rt. 53. Thursday morning, after a night of pouring rain (about 5 inches total in less then 24 hours) the house started to take on water. My mother was trying to get to work when she was on the sidestreet of the house and her car started filling with water. She bailed out and got back to the house only to find the water level rising. They were stranded and needed to be rescued via life raft by the police. They got them to dry land and I left work to pick them up and bring them to my house.
That was probably one of the worst moments of my life. Seeing them walking down the street towards me. Soaking wet, dirty, carrying nothing but a few bags with a change of clothing, my brother pushing his walker along, looking for all the world like they had just lost everything they owned. When they were pulled out, they measured 16 inches of water had come in. The total was actually probably closer to 2-3 feet. We then spent the better part of an hour trying to get from one side of Rt. 53 to the other. Every route I tried was underwater. Then I got a flat tire and my dad and brother had to get the spare on. We finally got home after taking 355 from ogden to maple.
That was Thursday. Saturday morning the water level had dropped enough that we could get into the house and assess the damage. In short, almost everything was lost. Anything on the tops of beds, tables, and bookshelves was saved. Stuff hanging on the walls was saved. However, every piece of furniture is lost as are the beds, the carpets and tile, the cabinets, probably most if the appliances and at least 3 feet of the dry wall. Their insurance covers the house itself but not the contents. It sucks because they had to take down the coverage to the bare minimum just a few months ago because they are both underemployed and had to make cuts to the budget.
We spent Saturday gutting the house. Stinky, dirty business. By the end of day my back hurt so much I was limping BADLY around my house and was in extreme pain. By morning I was fine. My brother-in-law is a life saver and really took charge of the situation. My dad works nights and was only able to help for a few hours so he and Eric did most of the heavy lifting and removed the carpet. Mom and I packed bag after bag full of ruined personal items and tried to clean up the sewage and the best we could. Most of the expensive electronics were saved thankfully but this is going to be a long and expensive process of putting the house back to normal. The city of Lisle is considered a disaster area by the government and we should see some financial assistance from there at some point.
At least one of the two cars is totaled. My dads was submerged only to the just below the headlights (dodge caravan) so we hope that one can be salvaged but we don't know yet. They will get market value for the two cars if they are both totaled.
In the meantime, my parents and one of my brothers are living like refugees at my house. Friends have loaned us air mattresses and bedding. I've had to figure out how to cook for 5 people instead of 2. Thankfully the store had a by one get one free sale on the chicken we buy. That helps. But it is weird seeing my family all the time. And it could still be several weeks before they can live in the house again. We have all been knocked off our schedules and its creating a lot of stress. Hoping the work week brings so ensemble of normal back to our lives.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Slipping away *edit
I have the feeling in the pit of my stomach that our opportunity for buying a home is simply slipping a little further out of reach everyday. And that makes me want to cry. The fact is, if you are pay attention to such things, the real estate market in this area is actually going up. Great for sellers, not so good for buyers. We were locked into our lease through the winter months and now that we are nearing the end of it (June) we are paying more attention to the market and have been somewhat surprised by our options. There are still a lot of short sales on the market which we can't do (time limitations and they are a huge headache besides), some foreclosures but more then the usual amount of conventional sales. What might have been in our range a year ago is now most definitely out of range. But we also have limitations. Eric needs to be close to a train station to get to work. We need to be relatively close to our Church since we are there more then half the nights in a week. And of course, we can't really include my income in our long term budget. I will work after starting our family but only if I have to.
I have to let it go or I will drive myself crazy trying to find something perfect for us. I tell myself that houses come and go everyday and tomorrow there will be new options. But its hard for me to believe that, with the current trends, anything that comes available will be good for us. The lower priced homes need a lot of work, something we wouldn't be able to do either. But as it is, we have a PRIME location for everything that we need to be close it. Family, train, church, and friends. All my doctors are in the area too. I just learned our neighbor is also looking to buy a condo (she really needs the room) so our pet peeves with her will take care of themselves soon enough. Who might replace her is anyones guess. We have enough space here to start our family. We can, for the time being, afford the rent and still save a small chunk of money each month. So why not just stay? Because every fiber of my being wants to own a home and make it my own. I wish I could take up the carpet of the kitchen here and update the main bathroom. But I can't. So I will continue to deal with it. Its funny how tightly I cling to dreams of home ownership and bearing children. The two things I want more then anything in the world and they seem to be always just out of reach. God has a plan, of that I'm sure. I just which he'd share it with me sometime!
If by some miracle we get to buy a house this year that would be fantastic. But I am praying that God will help me to let go of the control of the situation and trust Him to give us the wisdom to know when and where he wants us to move.
*edit: After posting this I realized that we have another option. And that's to rent a house. My family rented houses for the first 19 or so years of my life. That was normal to me. Granted its not a long term solution but it would satisfy my craving to live in a house and not deplete our savings account and as a bonus, still not be responsible for major home repairs. It would however, cost more than renting our apartment. Which in turn, at some point in the future, require me to work at least part time so that we can make the rent and have savings besides. This is something I had to think about a lot. I will never work full time after children for a number of reasons. But working a weekend job plus maybe a night during the week might actually be good for me. A know some stay at home mom's climb the walls with boredom and are disparate for adult interaction. So there is that. Renting would also allow us to pay off my car and not be locked into a mortgage if something were to be wrong with the house or neighborhood. Also, if anything were to change for us financially, would would only be on a year (and quite breakable) lease. We also factor in the knowledge that Eric will eventually start school and make a rather large and fairly unpredictable career change. One that might have a significant impact on our finances and our location. If we need to up and move, its much easier to get out of a lease then own a home. However, the down side to renting a house: rents are extremely high right now due to a previously crappy real estate market. Those who couldn't sell their home rented for the mortgage and then some. We might decide to rent a particular house for the next 5 years. The owner may try to sell it again and we'd be out on our butts. So the saga continues.
So we truly do have 3 options. Stay right were we are for another year. Buy a home. Or rent a home. and I like options. We will sit right where we are for the next 2 months when our lease is officially up. And then we look to see what available and try to make the best decision we can for our family.
I have to let it go or I will drive myself crazy trying to find something perfect for us. I tell myself that houses come and go everyday and tomorrow there will be new options. But its hard for me to believe that, with the current trends, anything that comes available will be good for us. The lower priced homes need a lot of work, something we wouldn't be able to do either. But as it is, we have a PRIME location for everything that we need to be close it. Family, train, church, and friends. All my doctors are in the area too. I just learned our neighbor is also looking to buy a condo (she really needs the room) so our pet peeves with her will take care of themselves soon enough. Who might replace her is anyones guess. We have enough space here to start our family. We can, for the time being, afford the rent and still save a small chunk of money each month. So why not just stay? Because every fiber of my being wants to own a home and make it my own. I wish I could take up the carpet of the kitchen here and update the main bathroom. But I can't. So I will continue to deal with it. Its funny how tightly I cling to dreams of home ownership and bearing children. The two things I want more then anything in the world and they seem to be always just out of reach. God has a plan, of that I'm sure. I just which he'd share it with me sometime!
If by some miracle we get to buy a house this year that would be fantastic. But I am praying that God will help me to let go of the control of the situation and trust Him to give us the wisdom to know when and where he wants us to move.
*edit: After posting this I realized that we have another option. And that's to rent a house. My family rented houses for the first 19 or so years of my life. That was normal to me. Granted its not a long term solution but it would satisfy my craving to live in a house and not deplete our savings account and as a bonus, still not be responsible for major home repairs. It would however, cost more than renting our apartment. Which in turn, at some point in the future, require me to work at least part time so that we can make the rent and have savings besides. This is something I had to think about a lot. I will never work full time after children for a number of reasons. But working a weekend job plus maybe a night during the week might actually be good for me. A know some stay at home mom's climb the walls with boredom and are disparate for adult interaction. So there is that. Renting would also allow us to pay off my car and not be locked into a mortgage if something were to be wrong with the house or neighborhood. Also, if anything were to change for us financially, would would only be on a year (and quite breakable) lease. We also factor in the knowledge that Eric will eventually start school and make a rather large and fairly unpredictable career change. One that might have a significant impact on our finances and our location. If we need to up and move, its much easier to get out of a lease then own a home. However, the down side to renting a house: rents are extremely high right now due to a previously crappy real estate market. Those who couldn't sell their home rented for the mortgage and then some. We might decide to rent a particular house for the next 5 years. The owner may try to sell it again and we'd be out on our butts. So the saga continues.
So we truly do have 3 options. Stay right were we are for another year. Buy a home. Or rent a home. and I like options. We will sit right where we are for the next 2 months when our lease is officially up. And then we look to see what available and try to make the best decision we can for our family.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Praise you in this storm
I've liked this song since the first time I heard it. It been on my mind as a reminder these last couple of days to praise God always, even when we don't understand why we must go through the storms of life.
"Praise You In This Storm"
Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
"Praise You In This Storm"
Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
[Chorus]
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Saturday, February 9, 2013
American Dream and Organic living
Yeah, so that title pretty much sums up my thoughts over the last week or two. I'm still trying to sort it all out and praying my way through them. They are not necessarily related to each other either. They are both related to my future as a parent. So I will tackle them one at a time.
The American Dream. I'm sorry, but what a load of crap that is. Since the recession the grand US of A has changed. It has affected everyone in one way or another. Mostly it hurt us, some of us it has helped. Some have lost jobs due to downsizing or businesses closing down. Prices on everything have gone up, paycheck have gone down. It has helped more people to buy homes thanks to the housing market collapse and low interest rates (the downside being many people have lost their homes). Thankfully Eric and I have been less affected in the negative way but many friends and family members have suffered greatly. Before infertility came along, we thought we'd have the stereotypical american dream that some many of our friends already have. And I have struggled with why God has not allowed us to have that. I'm still struggling through it even today.
I think the illustration of a sculptor is a good one here. He takes a block of clay/cement and cuts away a lot of clay until the image he envisioned starts to emerge. I can imagine it takes a long time. The details are endless. I'm sure the material is stubborn and often doesn't do what he wants it to. The parallels here are obvious. God has an image he wants me to be, like his Son. But to get me there he has to do a lot of cutting. It hurts when God is molding you. I find myself now asking God to give me new dreams, new desires. Not just the ones that the American culture tells me I should have. That ones that I've spent the last 31 years of my life chasing after. I'm asking God to help me let them go. And you know what, I feel a lot more peace. Trying to buy a house in our fragile financial state would be to force it to happen in our timing. Not God's. The American dream is probably not in our immediate future and God is helping me to accept that.
Going Organic. Going gluten free was hard and expensive enough. Now I've had this nagging thought about going Organic. I would say that I've been eating pesticides and GMO foods my whole life and it hasn't hurt me, but that might be a lie. There is no way to know for certain but I have four major issues in my body and no logical explanation for them. Lactose and gluten intolerance, eczema (skin), and infertility. Yeah, these things just happen but then again... maybe not. We don't know the long term affect of how the chemicals in our food are effecting our bodies. From what I understand, its been more of a supply keeping up with an increasing demand issue that has made this happen. Yet, it seems to me, and maybe I'm wrong, but those in third world countries, while maybe malnourished, seem to have a lot less allergies and cases of things like autism. I haven't studied any of this because well, studies are always going to be biased depending on who sponsored the study and what results they were trying to get. Looking forward to a day when I will be pregnant (Lord willing) and be raising children, I want to be sure that I was putting as much good, pure food in my body as possible. I probably will never be 100% organic but I will make an effort to do so. I am afraid of putting further strain on our budget (gluten free eating isn't cheap) but I think it will be beneficial in the long run. I know this won't fix what is wrong with me physically but maybe I can help prevent my children from having similar or different issues.
The American Dream. I'm sorry, but what a load of crap that is. Since the recession the grand US of A has changed. It has affected everyone in one way or another. Mostly it hurt us, some of us it has helped. Some have lost jobs due to downsizing or businesses closing down. Prices on everything have gone up, paycheck have gone down. It has helped more people to buy homes thanks to the housing market collapse and low interest rates (the downside being many people have lost their homes). Thankfully Eric and I have been less affected in the negative way but many friends and family members have suffered greatly. Before infertility came along, we thought we'd have the stereotypical american dream that some many of our friends already have. And I have struggled with why God has not allowed us to have that. I'm still struggling through it even today.
I think the illustration of a sculptor is a good one here. He takes a block of clay/cement and cuts away a lot of clay until the image he envisioned starts to emerge. I can imagine it takes a long time. The details are endless. I'm sure the material is stubborn and often doesn't do what he wants it to. The parallels here are obvious. God has an image he wants me to be, like his Son. But to get me there he has to do a lot of cutting. It hurts when God is molding you. I find myself now asking God to give me new dreams, new desires. Not just the ones that the American culture tells me I should have. That ones that I've spent the last 31 years of my life chasing after. I'm asking God to help me let them go. And you know what, I feel a lot more peace. Trying to buy a house in our fragile financial state would be to force it to happen in our timing. Not God's. The American dream is probably not in our immediate future and God is helping me to accept that.
Going Organic. Going gluten free was hard and expensive enough. Now I've had this nagging thought about going Organic. I would say that I've been eating pesticides and GMO foods my whole life and it hasn't hurt me, but that might be a lie. There is no way to know for certain but I have four major issues in my body and no logical explanation for them. Lactose and gluten intolerance, eczema (skin), and infertility. Yeah, these things just happen but then again... maybe not. We don't know the long term affect of how the chemicals in our food are effecting our bodies. From what I understand, its been more of a supply keeping up with an increasing demand issue that has made this happen. Yet, it seems to me, and maybe I'm wrong, but those in third world countries, while maybe malnourished, seem to have a lot less allergies and cases of things like autism. I haven't studied any of this because well, studies are always going to be biased depending on who sponsored the study and what results they were trying to get. Looking forward to a day when I will be pregnant (Lord willing) and be raising children, I want to be sure that I was putting as much good, pure food in my body as possible. I probably will never be 100% organic but I will make an effort to do so. I am afraid of putting further strain on our budget (gluten free eating isn't cheap) but I think it will be beneficial in the long run. I know this won't fix what is wrong with me physically but maybe I can help prevent my children from having similar or different issues.
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