FB break

I'm always on the verge of getting rid of my Facebook. So many of its features just annoy me. And studies have now shown that FB can actually make you depressed. I do find that I am constantly feeling jealous/envious of my friends because they have cute baby announcements (jealous of the baby and the creativity) or because they are ridiculously good at photography or they are pintrest craft stars and I suck at crafting or any number of things. But FB is a lifeline for me. It keeps me in the loop of friends far away, I have two great infertility support groups that are FB based and they help keep me sane. I genuinely care for those ladies even though I've not met 99.9% of them.

However, with the new year approaching... I've felt this gnawing feeling inside me that something needs to change. I am a struggling mother of an almost 2 year old. I spend way to much time on FB, its an addiction for me and its not healthy. I spend more time on FB than I do trying to keep my home looking presentable. And clutter/mess is a stressor for me, esp my tiny kitchen. I hate doing dishes (and not everything gets appropriately cleaned in the dishwasher) and so pots and pans get piled up to the point where I cannot makes the next meal because a) there is no room  and b) I have to wash half the dishes just to dirty them again to prep the meal.

So my theme for this year is "re", not 'regarding' be 're' as in re-focus, re-prioritize, re-energize. This year has been god-awful. I think everyone would pretty much agree with that. 2016 is a re-do. We are planning out 7th and final embryo transfer. I will prioritize my daughter which  means turning off facebook, shutting down the computer, focusing on her development, making sure she knows she is the most important thing in the world to me. To be fully present in the everyday.

I also need to re-focus on my relationship with Christ. We have many changes coming to us in 2016. The career change is going to change almost every aspect of our lives. My devotional time has pretty much been non-existent for years. That needs to change. Life is too hard to try to go through it on my own strength. I need Jesus more than ever before. My friends and family desperately need my prayers.I am ashamed at how many times I've told people I would pray for them and I never did. My mind is just so busy with stuff. Stupid stuff, worries, plans, etc. At the end of the day I am so mentally exhausted that all I want to do is go to sleep, so I do. So prayer and quiet time need to happen at the beginning of the day, not the middle (too busy) or the end. Today was day 1. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit. 30 days of getting up before the sun and before my daughter wakes up just seems cruel. Esp because I can't drink coffee (yet)! But Jesus gave up so much more for me, I can give up a little sleep for him.