2 months

It has been two months since Alexandra died. I don't cry everyday anymore. But I do cry sometimes. Grief is manifesting itself as fatigue that can only be described as half my brain not working. Or like I'm living half in a fog. It takes a crazy amount of effort to fight through it most of the time to remember even simple things. My body has recovered and I'm still in training for a 5K. I'm more emotional. I find I'm less patient with life in general but value every single day I have with my daughter and am just in awe of how prefect and beautiful and smart and growing she really is. I still replay those 9 days in the hospital in my head. I remember the kindness of the doctors and nurses and all the friends who came to visit and cared for us in the weeks afterwards. Its still hard. It always will be. We will always remember her, we will always love her.