Keeping Busy

After I quit my job I was really wondering what I was going to be able to do to fill my time. Funny thing is... now I don't know how I ever managed to work 8 hours a day and still get my errands, chores, and me time in. I don't often feel bored or like I'm climbing the walls. I have settled into a pretty nice routine of walking/yoga, laundry, dishes, Christmas shopping/errand running, baking, and of course resting (sleeping/reading). I really enjoy not having to set the alarm clock. Sometimes it is hard for me to sleep at night. Either baby was moving around too much or I'm congested or sometimes Eric is just snoring too much. Its nice to know that I don't have anything pressing first thing in the morning that I have to get up to do. I can sleep as long as my body feels it needs to. The only early morning thing I have to do about once a week is drive my brother into work. Since its only one day its not a big deal, though I have to remind myself to stay available for when family or friends need me. I like routine too much I think! I explored the possibility of volunteering at Carenet but I don't want to volunteer for a regular position that they would actually be dependent on me (like receptionist) since I won't go out if the weather is bad or if I have a doc appointment scheduled already. They don't seem to have a lot of opportunities for me right now, but then again, I'm staying plenty busy.

Our last ultra sound showed everything good and normal. At the time she was weighing about 3.5 pounds and I can't remember what they said for length. We have given our birthplan to the doctor and she has no problems with it. My bigger concern is the labor and delivery nurses at the hospital... I will have to deal with them the most. Praying that we get understanding nurses who don't try to force interventions when they are not needed. I have finished reading the "natural hospital birth" book and gained a lot of good insight into natural birth and hospital "rules" that I might come up against. I will try to stay home as long as possible to limit the possibilities of them intervening. Also, you can't eat or drink once your admitted and that could complicate delivery as well if I'm dehydrated or hungry. Nothing I can do about being tired except to just try to relax and not fight the contractions. But we have plans in place for that too.

Eric has been working on a research paper for his class for the least 3 weeks. He finally has it done and I feel like I have my husband back again. It really did consume a lot of his time and thoughts. I haven't been able to get him to think about Christmas stuff or a lot of baby stuff for a while now. The paper will be submitted this weekend and we have another baby class to attend and a Christmas tree to decorated. He still needs to shop for his family, my side is already done.

In the last two weeks I've also had two baby showers. Note to self: never have a Target registry again! I could not believe how many duplicate gifts we received! Same thing happened with our wedding registry 3 years ago. Oh well, that's what gift receipts are for I guess. I had a lot of returns this week to do though. There is a nasty cold going around so a good number of friends were not able to attend the showers but still have gifts to give our little one. Eric's work friends are also planning something but we don't know when it will be. So I can't go out buying the stuff we didn't get until probably closer to Christmas if not January. Cloth diapers are not a favorite to buy apparently. I had one friend buy us a half dozen from our Amazon registry but that's it. Fingers crossed that there are still more coming!

I'm trying to get all my running around done now because it is already getting harder to be on my feet a lot (back ache, fatigue). Also, it will eventually look like winter outside and when it does, I don't want to be going out in bad weather. OK, baby girl and I are going to go read a book until its time to start dinner :)

Every Act of Love

I've been liking this song lately, thought I'd share it

Every Act of Love~ by Jason Gray
Sitting at the stoplight
He can't be bothered by the heart cry
Written on the cardboard in her hand
But when she looks him in the eye
His heart is broken open wide
And he feels the hand of God reach out through him
As Heaven touches earth

(Chorus)
Oh - we bring the Kingdom come
Oh - with every act of love
Jesus help us carry You
Alive in us, Your light shines through
With every act of love
We bring the Kingdom come

There's silence at the table
He wants to talk but he's not able
For all the shame that's locked him deep inside
But her words are the medicine
When she says they can begin again
And forgiveness will set him free tonight
As Heaven touches earth

(Chorus)

God put a million, million doors in the world
For his love to walk through
One of those doors is you
I said, God put a million, million doors in the world
For his love to walk through
One of those doors is you

(Chorus)

Oh - we bring the Kingdom come
Oh - with every act of love
Jesus help us carry You
Alive in us, Your light shines through
With every act of love
We bring the Kingdom come
With every act of love
We bring the Kingdom come
With every act of love
We bring the Kingdom come

28.5 weeks and research

We have arrived at the 3rd trimester! This is when I'm told things get more uncomfortable. So far I feel pretty good. More pains when I'm sleeping at night and heartburn has gotten worse but other than that, nothing to complain about.

We started our Child Birth classes at Edward recently and to say I was a little overwhelmed would be an understatement. Having never witnessed a birth myself my frame of reference was of course, Hollywood. I now see what is really going to happen and how long it could actually drag out for. I think I was overwhelmed not by how much its actually going to hurt but because there are so many options for childbirth these days. Every woman has a different story to tell from the friend that had preeclampsia and delivered 6 weeks early via C-section to the friend that just gave birth to baby #5 who ended up being over 10#s. In the end, there is no right or wrong way to birth a baby! As long as you end up with a little girl or boy to hold in your arms, the rest really doesn't matter.

That said, I am doing a whole ton of research on the subject of natural childbirth. My #1 issue with getting an epidural  (I would never do the IV drugs since those will affect the baby) is that you become confined to the bed and have limited ways in which you can move to help your baby get into position. #2 issue is that I really believe it can make your labor longer. #3 is that I don't want the doctor to have to tell me its time to push. #4 I don't want a catheter because I won't know when my own body needs to go to the bathroom. I can have all the reasons in the world but when we get to that point, I may be begging for the epidural. At the very least, I won't do it right away when we arrive at the hospital, I will put it off for as long as possible and use alternate methods of relaxation/pain relief.

Right now I am looking at aromatherapy for at home and in hospital as well as water therapy. Lavender for the initial labor and trying to relax and Jasmine for after we are at the hospital and contractions are worse. The hospital has a shower with Jacuzzi tub and removable showerhead so I can continue to use hot water to sooth contractions as well. Just can't sit in the tub if my water has broken or if there is any bleeding due to increased chances of infection. I may or may not do some visualization type stuff, not sure I'd be able to focus my mind enough for it to be effective.

I've asked friends how they have gotten through their natural childbirths and each has a different story/strategy. All I can do is try. If baby doesn't cooperate or if there are other complications they will do the C-section. I won't let them jump straight to it by any means but if its for the best  of our baby girl, they will do what they need to do.

I am also doing some light research about vaccinations for the baby. I let them give me the t-dep shot last week because I can't tell you when I had a booster for whooping cough or that one that starts with P. Tetanus I had for Bolivia but a booster is never a bad idea. I refused the flu shot, I hate those things! I am not anti-vaccinations for the baby but I'm not all for them either. I will probably delay the vaccination schedule by as much as a year but will probably have them all done by the start of school. A friend of mine knows someone who has a doctor that is more understanding about the delayed or non-vaccination plan and I'm waiting to get his info. I have also just started researching it. A friend recommended a very balanced book on the issue and I've gotten it from the library but have  not started reading it yet. Its called Natural Baby and Childcare by Lauren Feder M.D. Also my teacher at one of my classes recommended a book called Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel. That one is on order with the library. If I start reading internet articles and blogs I'm bound to drive myself crazy trying to decide who is right and wrong on the issues. An extremist I am not. I just want to do what is best for myself and my family. And that may just fly in the face of what most doctors believe (or are paid to believe) about medicine.

Next two weeks are baby showers then then rest of the classes. Yay!

Unexpected Changes

Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I ended up quitting the job that I've had for the last 3 1/2 years. Still hard to believe I was really there that long. Climate Pros was a small business run by former service technicians that never learned the correct way to administratively run a company. Lack of professionalism combined with employing too many family members made for an especially trying 3 1/2 years. And yesterday was the final straw. Eric has been wanting me to quit for 3 years now and I've always found a reason to stay. I had given my notice sometime ago that I would leave at the end of the year due to the pregnancy. I had about 40 working days left with the company when I was insulted and accused for things that were in no way shape or form my fault. They see that now but the damage has been done and I will not be going back. So we are now on what I was calling the post-baby budget even though we are still pre-baby.

So I find myself with a lot of time on my hands. But its time that I plan to use well. I have been doing some Christmas shopping, looking and researching ways to get our monthly bills down (cell phones, cable, etc), and I have returned full-force to couponing. I have been using my parents treadmill to do some walking since its the #1 recommended exercise for pregnancy. I plan to use the time to reconnect with friends I haven't seen in a long time which is mostly due to them not coming to night activities such as sports because of bedtime for little children. But I also plan to restrict my driving as much as possible, esp with the winter weather coming. I've been driving 40 mins each way to work and going through about a tank of gas a week. I'm hoping to stretch a tank at least 2 weeks if possible.

There is not much more I can do in getting ready for baby's arrival. The shelving unit and dresser have been assembled and the room painted, much thanks to Eric on all accounts. I need to cut up receiving blankets for baby wipes and find a good plastic container to store them in (air tight) and wash a ton of clothes. But its a little early to be doing all that. The showers are coming up in a few weeks as are the holidays. This weekend is our first childbirth class at Edward and there are 3 more classes after that for baby care and breastfeeding. So I will stay busy and time will fly. And I will be a much happier person for getting out of a bad working environment!

Brain power

All this week its seems like all my brain juice has been zapped. I can't always remember peoples names, a short grocery list, and anything on my to do list. I guess I started too many sentences directed at Eric with "remind me to" or "don't like me forget to" and he finally told me to start putting notes on doors or making a list. He is not so good at remembering to remind me of things. So that is my life these days. Trying to remember thing and get them done.

Eric has painted the nursery a very nice yellow. Eric made a border that is easily removable for the trim, it matches our bedding set. I got it used and there wasn't enough border left to go all the way around the room. Just need to get it printed. Tonight we go to Ikea for a dresser. The crib is on the Target registry. And we are tired! I'm tired just thinking about all that's on the calendar for the next two months. Childbirth classes, baby care class, breastfeeding class, Thanksgiving, 2 showers, Christmas, two office Christmas parties, and then all the normal stuff that fills our weeks besides. I have learned that I can't push myself too hard these days. If I don't rest enough during a busy weekend my back will ache by 6pm. Sometimes I feel a gentle kicking by the baby girl around mid-day and I feel like she is signaling me to go take a break. She has been letting me sleep pretty well at night. Can't say the same for Eric. We are both trying to kick the last of our colds and his snoring is pretty bad some nights. Breathe Right strips have 0 effect. But we are making do.

So we are now at 25 weeks, making 15 weeks left to go. 3 more weeks till the 3rd trimester begins. Weight gain is now up to 18 and I'm starting to fill in a bit in my face. Still can't seem to find the time to get any walking or other exercise in, maybe this week I'll be able to start. We shall see. I am also blaming the baby girl for eating an entire GF pizza (small) and tempting me to eat an entire bag of cookies. Just to show her who is boss, I bought a bag of apples today too!

So much for sexy

Haha, this should not have been a surprise to me but somehow it has become one of the most frustrating side effects of pregnancy. I have always been underweight to the point of being more skin and bones then being attractively curvy. Being blonde and petite as a given in life has helped me to have a healthy self-esteem. Everyone wishes they could change something about their physical selves and I'm no exception. I struggled for years with braces, glasses, and finding my "style". But as I matured, I grew into myself, and have been fairly happy. Even happier when I met the love of my life and he loved me just the way I was too.

And now I have an extra 15 pounds on my waist. I LOVE my baby bump. I love showing it off. I love feeling my little girl moving around in there. We are going on 24 weeks now and so far everything is on target for her growth, my weight, and everything else. But... I'm not feeling so attractive in the way I used to. I feel awkward. I sometimes feel scared that too much physical activity is going to hurt her. I flash back to all the spotting I had in the first 12 weeks and I don't want to get scared like that again. But I miss my (our) old patterns/habits. If you really want to screw with your intimacy just go through infertility and IVF. You'll never look at sex the same way again. Maybe this is too much information for this blog but its been on my mind. And I know that the belly is only gonna grow. And then one day next year, we will be holding our daughter in our arms and our lives will be changed forever. Looking forward to that day...

All you need is love

Well, if that were true, then why do babies need so much "equipment"? As we've been gathering baby stuffs from garage sales and friends it is a bit overwhelming just how much "stuff" we think a baby needs. Legitimately, we need a crib and somewhere to store clothing. But the rest? Why can't we change the baby on the floor? Do they really need a bouncy seat? An activity yard/tummy time mat? A swing? Carseat/stroller? Not only do these things cost a lot of money (new) but they also take up a ton of space in your house.

I started thinking about babies born in 3rd world countries. What do they need? They are raised with next to nothing. So all of the 'baby equipment' is really just part of the consumerism of the developed nations? Cultures that make a huge deal out of the "first" baby (and sometimes the second and third ones get showers too, totally do not get that at all) spend a lot of money supporting the baby industry. And it just makes me wonder. What is it all for? I've come up against this time and again as we've been discussing the design for our nursery. In the end, the baby doesn't care. Its the adults that are obsessed with style and colors and making everything cute and perfect. Why do we need to make it "look" so good? We do we care what other people think?

And the answer is, because its programmed into our brains to care. I am married to an artist and he cares A LOT about how the nursery is going to look. Much more than I do. We have bought some baby gear for good prices at garage sales and from Craig's List and will continue to receive donated and borrowed cothing/gear from friends and family. In two weeks time we will probably make our registry for the items we desire to have new.

Back to babies in 3rd world countries. It is important to note that those babies don't always develop normally. In Bolivia and many other cultures, native women wrap their infants tightly in cloths and carry them sling like on their backs for the majority of the day. These babies can end up having poorly developed muscles and joints since they haven't been able to move around. They only get good nutrients from being breastfeed if the mother has good nutrition which is not very often. So babies of developed nations probably do have healthier and stronger, well developed babies. But the consumerism is still sickening when you look at a baby gear warehouse like babies R us or buy buy baby.

So we go forward with getting ready for this little one to arrive in Feb trying to only buy what is really needed for the child. And that involves entertainment and education as well as safety. Which still ends up being a lot. Oh well.